Patricia Berendsen

by Patricia Berendsen M.T.S., RMFT

© 2006

Patricia Berendsen, M.T.S., RMFT maintains an active private practice in Individual, Couple and Family Therapy and Clinical Supervision in London, Ontario. Patricia also provides clinical services as a Clinician with the Clinical Supports Program at the Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System of the London Family Court Clinic. Additionally she is an Approved Supervisor with OAMFT/AAMFT. She can be contacted at patricia@patriciaberendsen.com

I had just returned from a meeting, feeling rather discouraged. Yet again, I painfully observed several professionals losing sight of the best interests of clients, because they were too busy “strutting their stuff” and “stroking their egos” in a public forum. Too much time and effort was used to be distinguished as superior; more intellectual, more caring, more dedicated, more research driven, more fiscally responsible… more, more, more. The regrettable result was the silence of other important voices. They would not be able to ‘compete’ with such grandiosity displayed before them. Some group dynamics appear childish, reminiscent of children playing in a sandbox, jockeying for the position of “top dog” and protecting their turf, all the while forgetting that the sandbox is common ground and that they actually like each other! Unfortunately, grandstanding is not an uncommon occurrence and more often than not, makes working together more toxic than productive and life-giving.

How, then, can we keep the soul in our work, TOGETHER?

Allow me to share with you some strategies that have proven to be helpful in promoting cohesiveness, improving morale and all the while, keeping the soul in our work.

1. Check your ego at the door. Coming together and seeking to determine the ‘best interests of the client’ means that we must truly put aside our own agendas. I have participated in meetings and observed professionals approaching situations from a fear based perspective- with the agenda of protecting the agency’s often minimal funding or its status in the community. Although we wouldn’t like to admit it, sometimes, decisions are made, based on the needs of the agency and not the clients.

2. Believe the best in one another. Keeping the soul in our work, means focusing on the positive and the well meaning intentions of others. It can be tempting to notice and highlight weaknesses and be critical of colleagues or community partners, but it is usually not helpful. It only serves to weaken working relationships, fostering a lack of trust. Believing the best in one another can increase our collective power knowing that we are in this together and that together we are stronger.

3. Take your time and stay with the issue long enough to reach a breakthrough. Some people will refer to this as “trusting the process.” I have participated in several agency and community meetings where resolutions to challenges have been difficult to achieve. Over and over again, I have witnessed the ‘process’ at work…but only if the people involved were able to ‘hang in there’ long enough for the outcome to reveal itself. I have found that the most creative and influential solutions seem to come at the point when we would like to give up. This is often the time when someone will throw out a wishful thought or an offhanded comment. Paradoxically, this seemingly flippant comment can get the ball rolling and within minutes a potential solution emerges. And remember, successful process takes time.

4. Compliment efforts. Working within social service settings is difficult enough. We often have to deal with obstacle and are under the watchful eye of funders and supervisors. Taking the time to compliment one another is fuel for more success. When we “catch one another doing good” we are more likely to want to repeat our performance. Genuine compliments create the fertile ground in which strong working relationships can grow.

5. Utilize the diversity and strengths that are brought to the table. Those of us who like being in control may struggle with this point. Teams are eroded when only one or two people do the lion share of the work. It is essential that everyone participates in the solution. Contributing as a group means that the buy-in is greater, more people get on board and everyone can have more ownership not only of the problem, but especially, the solution. Using diversity and strengths allows for skills and abilities that may have been somewhat hidden to come to the forefront. The outcome is often a sense of satisfaction and a realization of competency that contributes to increased confidence for the future.

6. Have fun. Do you ever feel guilty when you are making a raucous during a meeting while other colleagues glance curiously as they pass by the conference room window? Have we bought into the myth that we can only be serious if we are to get our work done? Some of the most productive meetings I have attended did not look like much was getting done from the “outside looking in.” However, what wasn’t noticeable to passersby’s was that deeper relationships were being forged; time was passing by quickly, and all the agenda items were tended to (and more besides). All of us involved looked forward to the next meeting. An atmosphere that lends itself to levity when it presents itself can be inspiring and usually promotes team cohesiveness and a positive working environment.

7. Examine the effectiveness of the project and working relationships. Making time for reflection is crucial. One of the most utilized tenets of solution focused work is to notice what one is doing well and then doing more of it. It also includes analyzing and highlighting what went into a job well done and to ascertain what improvements can be made for the next time. When we have completed a project, we are usually so relieved “to get it over with” that the last thing we are interested in doing is sitting down and evaluating our work. I would argue that reflecting upon and evaluating our work is one of the most cost efficient practices at our disposal. Through evaluation, we can evolve as team players, grow in professional knowledge, and develop closer working relationships and partnerships.

By Patricia Berendsen M.T.S., RMFT

Patricia Berendsen, M.T.S., RMFT maintains an active private practice in Individual, Couple and Family Therapy and Clinical Supervision in London, Ontario. Patricia also provides clinical services as a Clinician with the Clinical Supports Program at the Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System of the London Family Court Clinic. Additionally she is an Approved Supervisor with OAMFT/AAMFT. She can be contacted at patricia@patriciaberendsen.com.

Absract: What constitutes a Transformational Leader? The authour describes characteristics of a Transformational Leader using the unique strategy of a job posting. The criterion and patterns of an ailing agency are illustrated by the subsequent job description.

Transformational Leader Wanted: A courageous person dedicated to self-knowledge and utilizing the workplace as a passage of self-discovery knowing that in and through our work, we are actually forming ourselves. A visionary who looks to the future yet is committed to embarking on an unscripted journey. A judicious person who does not confuse leadership with a position, title or role and being other focused, shares power freely and willingly. A perceptive individual who values, appreciates and nurtures the inherent potential in every human being. A co-creator of life-giving relationships and interdependent connections which can be sustained during tumultuous and stressful experiences. A thoughtful person who listens carefully to the arguments of resistance in order to hear the inner voice of the organization and then who dares to disturb the system as an advocate for transformational change. A model of vulnerability who moves beyond self-preservation, sharing fears, insecurities and growth areas, yet is confident to act and humble enough to learn simultaneously and attracts others to do the same. An unguarded leader who encourages feedback and welcomes criticism of what he/she is doing. A creative thinker and do-er who embraces failure, honours risk-taking and takes time to reflect on both collective success and collective failure. One who is internally directed and dedicated to purpose finding instead of problem solving. A leader who inspires and invites others to choose transformational leadership for themselves.

Job Description: The selected Transformational Leader will be required to lead a team within an agency directed by self-interested, highly developed egos and extremely hierarchical senior executives. The Transformational Leader will need to navigate the torrential waters of manipulative strategies imposed upon its members by managers, under the guise of “participating conversations,” that serve to only increase distrust of the system. As a Transformational Leader, you will be faced with finely filtered and polished narratives presented at management meetings that do not remotely reflect the reality of the challenges facing front line staff. You will be asked to pierce the bubble of denial – the tightly held belief that the organization is a healthy, thriving environment when all the evidence points to a series of deception and a slow death process that is occurring. You will encounter normative and accepted behavour such as petty jealousy, dishonesty, backstabbing, arrogance, withholding imperative and critical information, “do as I say not as I do” hypocritical mentality, incompetence, intolerance of initiative followed by blaming and shaming tactics. Additionally, you will be working within a team divided against itself with a reputation for swallowing up prospective leaders as well as its own members, particularly anyone attempting to make changes to the status quo.

Please respond to this invitation to Transformational Leadership with your passion for excellence and a hope for a preferred future with this ailing agency.

Transformational Leadership applications can be sent to:

Sinking Ship Human Services
911 Mayday Blvd.
Stormy Seas, Ontario
SOS SOS

© 2007 Patricia Berendsen

Patricia Berendsen

I want to know if you approach each day every day with passion in your heart, knowing that you are about to impact my life, not only for a shift, or a day but for a lifetime. Do you have the fire in your belly that will drive you to professional excellence and integrity?

I want to know if you will trust my innate wisdom leading you to new frontiers that may defy the empirically supported treatment of the day. Will you dare to embark on a road less traveled, and risk the potential criticism and ridicule of your peers to spearhead new and innovative strategies that give voice to my needs? Will you go out on a limb for me?

I want to know if I can see in you, a role model of fairness, equality and respect instead of someone who is completing a shift. Will you dare to bridge the gap between us created by your hastily made decisions or inconsistent consequences? Will you accept responsibility (as you would expect of me) and apologize when you make a mistake? I want to know if you will fan into flame the waning embers of my self-esteem, remnants from the raging fires of trauma, abuse and neglect.

I want to know if you can see my preciousness beneath my iron-clad armour that protects my vulnerability. Will you tread respectfully and carefully on the sacred ground of my woundedness to bring me closer to recovery and healing? I want to know if you have enough power in your own life so you don’t need to have power over mine.

I want to know if you can “be with” my intense emotions presented before you, often disguised by my behaviour. Will you stay with me and be the container I need for big feelings instead of running away and avoiding them because you are afraid?

I want to know if you will discard the sometimes convenient and familiar garment of judgment and harshness, for a cloak of compassion and understanding. I need you to deal with your own shadow so that you can know that there is more to me than mine. Will you face your own demons so that you won’t demonize me?

I want to know if you can take up this challenge. Your example is important to me because if I can see you doing it, then I know there is hope for me!

This piece was inspired by Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s prose poem entitled The Invitation.

By: Patricia Berendsen M.T.S., RMFT, OAMFT/AAMFT Approved Supervisor
© 2007

Abstract
Supervision is a journey for both the supervisor and supervisee. It balances tenuously between letting go and the temptation to rescue on the part of the supervisor. As a supervisee, the tension is between dependence and autonomy. This organic process can occur in predictable stages in the supervisee’s development. Vanderheyden illustrates the importance of these stages from a developmental perspective. She emphasizes the necessity of self-awareness and the use of self needed to create a safe place for enriched learning to take place. Ideally, supervision is a co-created experience in which it is sometimes difficult to tell who is the teacher and who is the student. It is essential that both supervisor and supervisee have “a beginners mind” and remain open to the lessons that are awaiting them in the supervision journey together.

Definition of Supervision
Hess (1980) defines supervision as “ a quintessential interpersonal interaction with the general goal that one person, the supervisor, meets with another, the supervisee, in an effort to make the latter more effective in helping people.”

Loganbill, Hardy and Delworth (1982) describe supervision as “an intensive, interpersonally focused, one-to-one relationship in which one person is designated to facilitate the development of therapeutic competence in the other person.” The British Association of Counselling states that the “primary purpose of supervision is to protect the best interests of the client.” Others suggest that supervision is a structure that facilitates the “development of clinical and professional competence.” (Haynes, Corey & Moutlon (2003). Feminist authour’s Porter and Vasquez (1997) comprehensively define supervision as “a collaborative, respectful process, personal but unintrusive, balanced between supervisory responsibility and supervisee autonomy. [Feminist] supervision emphasizes an open discussion and analysis of power dynamics, and targets the best interests of the supervisee. It is a process that remains focused on the social context of the lives of the client, supervisee, and supervisor.

Qualities of a Good supervisor
Carifo and Hess (1987:244) describe qualities of an ideal supervisor as similar to that of a good psychotherapist. They are: empathy, understanding, unconditional positive regard, congruence, genuineness (Rogers, 1957), warmth and self-disclosure (Coche, 1977); flexibility, concern, attention, investment, curiosity and openness (Albott, 1984: Aldridge, 1982); Gittermann and Miller, 1977; Hess, 1980).

Brigid Proctor (1988) emphasizes the importance of the atmosphere created by the supervisor. The task of the supervisor is to help the supervisee feel received, valued, understood on the assumption that only then will s/he feel safe enough and open enough to review and challenge him/herself, as well as to value him/herself and her/his own abilities. Without this atmosphere, s/he is unlikely to be open to critical feedback or to pay close attention to administrative details.

It will also be the case that a beginning therapist often comes to supervision stressed, anxious, angry, and perhaps afraid. It is the assumption that only if s/her feels safe enough to talk about these uncomfortable feelings, and fully acknowledge them for him/herself will s/he be ‘cleared’ [available] to re-evaluate practice. “The belief in the inner beauty of each and every human being is at the heart of being human. As soon as we start choosing and judging people instead of welcoming them as they are– with their sometimes hidden beauty, as well as their more frequently visible weaknesses– we are reducing life, not fostering it. When we reveal to people our belief in them, their hidden beauty rises to the surface where it may be more clearly seen by all.” (Vanier, 1998, p. 23)

Process of Supervision
As a supervisor, the roles can range from that of a coach, facilitator, supporter, instructor, educator, and colleague. Initially, as with any psychotherapy, contracts need to be established and boundaries set for the supervision process to proceed. There needs to be a ‘fit’ of some sort which is mutually determined. Although it may be preferred, it is not necessary that the supervisor needs to espouse the same treatment philosophy per se as the supervisee or vice versa. What is important is the desire to grow in his/her profession and to be able to dialogue comfortably about and appreciate the differences that arise during the supervision process.

Supervision is just that. A process. Certainly, it does have a beginning and an end. However, what occurs between those times can range from being magical to exasperating and frustrating. In this sense, isomorphism (Doehrman, 1976 and Mcneill, 1989) can be seen very clearly. Oftentimes, as the supervisee is struggling with a client, the supervisor is struggling similarly with the supervisee. The responsibility is two-fold …but rests primarily on the supervisor to model self-awareness. The supervisor may additionally consult with colleagues about how transference and counter transference may be impacting the supervision process (although not always negatively) and highlighting psychotherapeutic issues. The supervisee as well, cannot abdicate responsibility when this situation arises, as self awareness is one of the essential elements of becoming a good psychotherapist.

Feminist theory which has deeply impacted the transformation of supervision models suggests collaboration “working with” as an alternative to strictly hierarchical models of supervision looking over” or ”being above” another. This collaborative style requires a demonstration of trust and reciprocity. “Reciprocal visibility” (Turner and Fine, 1996) between the supervisor and therapist demystifies and diminishes the inherent power dynamics and creates opportunities for mutual transparency. “Covison” is a term that is used as a means of addressing implied hierarchy in therapeutic language of “supervision” (Porter and Vasquez, 1997). Turner and Fine argue that even when power issues are addressed, “the supervisory relationship can be more or less level but never flat.” (in Todd and Storm 2002 p.230)

Supervision is also impacted by gender, age and cultural background. The greater the disparity, the greater the need for the supervisor to work doubly hard to facilitate ‘joining’ in the supervisory relationship and to determine and explore how the supervisor and supervisee’s background and attitudes are affecting how one sees and works with the client, the supervisory relationship and within the clinical setting.

Ekstein’s (1969) unique description encourages the consideration of blind spots, deaf spots and dumb spots. Blind spots are where one’s own personal patterns and processes get in the way of seeing the client clearly. Deaf spots are those where the therapist not only cannot hear the client, but cannot hear the supervisor either [and vice versa]. Dumb spots are those where supervisees and supervisors are ignorant about what it is like to be in the position of the client, understanding what it means to be in someone else’s shoes.

A Developmental Perspective
From a developmental perspective supervisees (and supervisors alike) go through stages. The first stage is usually characterized by the supervisee’s dependence upon the supervisor and feelings of insecurity. Although the supervisee is highly motivated, s/he often is anxious about his/her skill, insight and ability. The notion of needing to be objectively self-aware (through the use of video/audiotape, live supervision) can be unnerving to some. Similarly, the supervisor may also experience an isomorphic phenomenon displaying or feeling similar types of anxiety. The supervisor knows all too well, that the supervisee is carefully scrutinizing his/her behaviour and supervision style. This stage of the supervisee’s development is usually focused on concrete reporting of information contained within the file, behavioural descriptions of what occurred in the session. Sometimes, premature conclusions are made without a thorough evaluation of the context and/or systemic factors. Keeping the format structured and positively focused at this phase of development assists the supervisee with the containment of anxiety, uncertainty, and the emotional impact of sessions with clients. This will support the supervisee to grow in confidence and competence in developing clinical formulations and counselling skills.

The next developmental phase of the supervisee is often characterized by a vacillation between dependence and autonomy and between over-confidence and overwhelmed. Personal experience leads me to propose that longer placements (6-9 months) are more conducive to enhanced learning and integration for the supervisee. The supervisee can settle into the agency and/or the program and go through the “seasons of therapeutic influence”. When the placement is too short (2-4 months), the supervisee risks leaving the placement in the overwhelmed phase of his/her development and may experience a pivotal professional crisis. The supervisee may subsequently question his/her suitability to the field and doubt whether s/he has the skills and qualities to do the job well. Unbeknownst to the supervisee, this experience is normative and passes during the longer placement. Most supervisees come to find their “therapeutic footing” and their confidence is restored during a lengthier placement. Over and over again, I have witnessed the power of the ‘supervision process’ …but only if the both the supervisor and supervisee are able to ‘hang in there’ long enough for the outcome to reveal itself.

The third developmental juncture often includes more autonomy and is more collegially focused on the part of the supervisee. This phase tends to be more process-oriented. The supervisee is more confident and begins to integrate theory and practice with more accuracy. The supervisee is often more adept at matching the needs of the client with the various modalities available. Similar to the analogy of a person attempting to drive a standard (versus automatic) car, in this stage, there is considerably less jerking when one changes gears and the ride is much smoother! The supervisee begins to learn to observe him/herself and the client from multi-level (helicopter approach) and multi-systemic perspectives. The supervisee can see the bigger picture more easily. During this stage, the supervisee begins to take more risks in “the use of self” during supervision and counselling sessions. Oftentimes, the personal issues that may impact therapy arise and cannot be ignored. Ideally, at this developmental stage, the supervisory relationship, strengthened through collaboration mutuality and trust, allows and supports the supervisee in exploring these personal/professional issues more comprehensively.

It is important that the supervisor resist the temptation to rescue the supervisee. The supervisor needs to be the container of strength, encouragement and support. At this stage, the supervisor is required to hold the tension of the challenging circumstances the supervisee may be experiencing. This process is often difficult- not unlike the experience of a butterfly trying desperately to free itself from the cocoon. One might wish to speed up the process by ‘breaking open the cocoon’. However, it is the struggle of the butterfly to free itself from the cocoon that is the necessary action which ultimately strengthens the emerging butterfly’s wings to fly. If the cocoon is opened prematurely, the butterfly will emerge with wings that are not capable of supporting the butterfly’s urge for flight. Thus, rescuing the supervisee, may unintentionally cripple the unfolding development of the emerging therapist.

The last developmental stage could be characterized by integration and synthesis. Theory and practice co-mingle more easily and accurately. The stage is defined by allowing the experience and knowledge that has been acquired to deepen and take root. An Unknown Sufi Teacher once said, “Knowledge without wisdom is like an unlit candle.”

Observing supervisees at this stage of their growth and training can be magical. The supervisor is a witness of synthesis- as things seem to “come together” for the supervisee. Their education, life, professional, and therapeutic experiences, merge, creating something bigger and better than the supervisee could have imagined. It is at this stage of development that the supervisee’s professional identity becomes more visible and defined. Often a comfort level with seeing him/herself as a professional emerges.

Reflection and Self-Awareness
The role of supervisor is both an honour and a privilege. It is not everyday that one gets to impact the inner workings of another with the knowledge that the influence of a supervisor may resonate into infinity. My personal view is that the “strategic use of self” is undoubtedly one of the most powerful tools one has within any context, both as a supervisor or as a therapist. I also believe that although the use of self is a gift to share with others, the weight of responsibility is equally as great, so as to “do no harm.” As part of ethical practice, self-awareness, reflection and evaluation is essential. To refrain from this practice is to make oneself a liability to the profession. To this end, engaging in awareness of personal issues that may intersect with one’s professional life and work with the assistance and support of chosen and trusted colleagues is paramount.

Conclusion

Although supervision is an organic process, it tends to unfold in somewhat predictable patterns in the development of the supervisee. The first stage: dependence upon the supervisor and insecurity. The second stage: vacillation between dependence and autonomy and vacillation between over-confidence and overwhelmed. The third stage: autonomy and collegiality. Finally: integration and synthesis, where theory and practice co-mingle more easily and accurately.

Ideally, strength-based supervision is a co-created supervisory experience in which it is sometimes difficult to tell who is the teacher and who is the student. Collaboration and mutuality assist in the unfolding development of the supervisee. Since, both supervisor and supervisee are influenced by the supervisory process, it is imperative that self-awareness be optimized to enable enhanced learning to occur. It is important that both supervisor and supervisee have “a beginners mind” and remain open to the lessons that are awaiting them along the supervision journey together. Our effectiveness as supervisors is related to being “present with all our experiences as they are, in a fresh, open-minded way.” (Welwood, 2000, p. 141)

The integrity of our profession is inextricably linked with the education, training and supervision of its potential members. The bottom line is- that as supervisors, we are charged with the responsibility of being the gate keepers!

Bibliography

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Aldridge, L. (1982). ‘Construction of a Scale for the Rating of Supervisors of Psychology’. Unpublished Masters thesis Auburn University.USA

Carifo, M.S. and Hess, A.K. (1987). ‘Who is the ideal supervisor?’ Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, (USA), 18, 244-50.

Coiche, E. (1977). ‘Training of group therapist’, in Kaslow, F. W. (ed.) Supervision, Consultation and Staff Training in the Helping Professions. San Francisco, Jossey Bass.

Doehrman, M.J. (1976). Parallel Processes In Supervision and Psychotherapy. Bulletin Of The Menninger Clinic, 40, 1-104.

Ekstein, R. (1969). ‘Concerning the teaching and learning of psychoanalysis’ Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association (USA), 17(2). 312-32.

Fine, M., & Turner, J. (2002). ‘Collaborative Supervision: Minding the Power’ in Todd T. & Storm C. (Eds.) The Complete Systemic Supervisor: Context, Philosophy and Pragmatics. New York: Authors Choice Press, 229-240.

Gittermann, A. and Miller, I. (1977). ‘Supervisors and educators’ in Kaslow, F. W. (ed.) Supervision, Consultation and Staff Training in the Helping Professions. San Francisco, Jossey Bass.

Hawkins, Peter and Shohet, Robin. 1989. Supervision in the helping professionals. Philadelphia: Open University Press, pp. 43.

Haynes, R., Corey, G., & Moulton, P. (2003). Clinical supervision in the helping professions: A practical guide. Pacific Grove, CA: Brookes/Cole.

Hess, A.K. (ed.) (1980). Psychotherapy Supervision: Theory, Research and Practice. New York, Wiley.

Hess, A.K. (1987). ‘Psychotherapy supervision: stages, Buber and a theory of relationship’, Professional Psychology: Research and Practice (USA), 18 (3), 251-9.

Loganbill, C., Hardy, E. and Delworth, U. (1982). ‘Supervision, a conceptual model’, The Counselling Psychologist, USA, 10(1), 3-42.

Mcneill, B. W., And Worthen, V. (1989). The Parallel Process In Psychotherapy Supervision. Professional Psychology, 20, 329-333.

Porter, N, and Vasquez, M. (1997). ‘Covision: Feminist Supervision, Process, and Collaboration’ in Worell, J. and Johnson, N.G. (eds). Shaping the future of feminist psychology. American Psychological Association: Washington.

Proctor, B. (undated) ‘Supervision: A co-operative exercise in accountability’; Marken, M. and Payne, M. (eds), Enabling and Ensuring, Leicester National Youth Bureau and Council for Education and Training in Youth and Community Work.

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Rogers, C. R.. (1957). ‘The necessary and sufficient condition of therapeutic personality change’, Journal of Counseling Psychology (USA), 21, 95-103.

Searles, H. F. (1955). The Informational Value Of The Supervisor’s Emotional Experience. Psychiatry, 18, 135-146.

Turner, J., & Fine, M. (1996). Postmodern evaluation in family therapy supervision. Journal of Systemic Therapies, 14, 57-59.

Vanier, Jean. (1998). Becoming Human. Toronto, ON : Anansi Press.
Welwood, John. (2000). Toward a Psychology of Awakening. Boston: Shambhala Publications, Inc.

Patricia Berendsen, M.T.S., RMFT maintains an active private practice in Individual, Couple and Family Therapy and Clinical Supervision in London, Ontario. Patricia also provides clinical services as a Clinician with the Clinical Supports Program at the Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System of the London Family Court Clinic. She can be contacted at patricia@patriciaberendsen.com

By Patricia Berendsen
© 2006

It may be my imagination, but it seems to me that winters are becoming lengthier as the years go by. Yes, summer is here and is the season for planned vacations, day trips, beaches, pools, camping, fishing, boating, gardening and my favourite- sleeping in. Outdoor sports like soccer and baseball create gatherings of small communities of parents and friends cheering on their son or daughter. Lawn mowers are purring, chainsaws are buzzing and whipper snippers are zinging. Parents are planning for their children’s time away from the routine of school. Others utilize their time honing their golf swing and lowering their scores.

The warmth and sunshine beckons us from the darkness and solitude of winter to the out of doors. Oftentimes I find that peoples’ spirits seem lighter and their energy seems to be more positive once the temperatures increase and the sun is shining. Summer presents numerous invitations to refreshment and rejuvenation. Going to the beach, walking in the park and feeding the ducks, taking in community festivals…all offer a banquet of food for the soul.

“So what’s this got to do with work?” you might ask. “Everything”, is my reply. Keeping the soul in our work requires us to take advantage of the refreshment that each season of the year brings to us. Refreshment is essential in our fast paced life. I am reminded of proponents like David Elkind who long ago predicted that even children may experience burnout before puberty because of the added pressures and activities that so clutter their young lives. The child’s developmental task of free play has often been replaced by organized sports, music lessons and the like. So, too, as adults, we need time to decompress…to “play” in order for our minds and bodies to establish and maintain equilibrium that is necessary for our mental health. This means that we need to take the time to nourish ourselves so that we don’t burn out.

I am remembering a plaque that I saw a long time ago. The picture displayed a mother and father hen talking to their brood of young chicks with the caption reading, “Ain’t momma and poppa happy, ain’t nobody happy!” As members of teams, as management, as workers in the classroom or on the floor, our disposition does affect the people around us, especially those we serve, our clients. We all know too well the devastating impact of just a couple of grumpy, critical people who can demoralize a whole team or send negative shock waves throughout an agency. Our ability to re-connect with ourselves and take the time to rejuvenate is foundational to our longevity and stability in our field of practice. Hey, if we are happy, likely those around us are happier too!

In my case, the past few months have been filled with challenges that have left my energy tank “on empty”. I was in much need of refreshment. I decided to spend some time outside in the hope that I might experience once again what I have known to be true about nature’s healing qualities. Sitting beneath a canopy, sheltered from the ultra violet rays I absorbed the sounds, sights and smells of summer. Before me was a vast array of nature’s glory in the form of forest and perennial plants well into their summer bloom. Cardinals, finches and hummingbirds were enjoying their feast of birdseed as well as nectar from bright crimson and fuchsia flowers. I spotted baltimore orioles attracted to the prepared orange fruit slices for their enjoyment. Every so often a waft of a skunk scent would reach my nose. Butterflies were flitting around bushes named after them as well as taking delight in the array of colours and fragrances.

Interestingly and predictably, I found myself breathing more evenly and deeply. My shoulders relaxed and enjoyed the burden free moments. The cares of work seemed to fade from my mind. This experience of re-creation is right at my finger tips, yet often forgone because “I have work to do” or I am taxi-ing my children somewhere. Or the daily routines of life like weeds, seem to choke out these simple pleasures.

And as it often happens, nature offered some perspective to my usual musings.
I was somewhat surprised that quietly observing nature would have such a profound impact on me. Time is an interesting concept because each of us has the same amount available to us, yet most of us complain that we never have enough. I found that by being outside, time seemed insignificant and had the illusion of multiplying itself. Minutes seemed fuller and time appeared to move more slowly giving me the space I needed to ‘just be.’

The other day I met my friend for a walk in the park. What struck me was how I felt so refreshed after our time together. The flowing river, huge trees offering shelter from the humidity, bicycle paths providing space for wheeled enthusiasts, families of geese wading…all I could think about was when I would make the time for myself to do it again.

I was noticing that the trees in their entire splendor just ‘do their thing’. They bend and blow with the gusts of wind. They join in a chorus of rustling yet each has its own sound. They remain still, standing proud when the winds die down. A pine tree does not compete with the abundance of the maple or oak. Each knows its purpose and grows to fullness in the right environment.

Even the plants just ‘bloom where they are planted’. A yellow primrose does not try to become the blue cornflower. They grow alongside other births of bloom with each shade complimenting that of the other. Some flowers and plants require more space than others, but really, they are very focused on their mission of growth and blooming at their appointed time.

Nature reminds us of her inherent cycles: a time for planting, gestation, tilling, harvesting and eventually dying. Likewise, we have cycles and seasons in our lives and careers. Setting aside time allows us to observe these cycles. In doing so, we can take stock of our lives-professionally and personally, becoming more grounded in our purpose. Rest and relaxation allows us to re-create ourselves and bring replenished energy to our being. Consider nature’s invitation to a time of refreshment and renewal. Say, “Yes!” Create space for yourself, sink into the moment, breathe deeply, and enjoy!

Patricia Berendsen, M.T.S., RMFT maintains an active private practice in Individual, Couple and Family Therapy and Clinical Supervision in London, Ontario. Patricia also provides clinical services as a Clinician with the Clinical Supports Program at the Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System of the London Family Court Clinic. She can be contacted at patricia@patriciaberendsen.com