Patricia Berendsen

By Patricia Berendsen
© 2006

It may be my imagination, but it seems to me that winters are becoming lengthier as the years go by. Yes, summer is here and is the season for planned vacations, day trips, beaches, pools, camping, fishing, boating, gardening and my favourite- sleeping in. Outdoor sports like soccer and baseball create gatherings of small communities of parents and friends cheering on their son or daughter. Lawn mowers are purring, chainsaws are buzzing and whipper snippers are zinging. Parents are planning for their children’s time away from the routine of school. Others utilize their time honing their golf swing and lowering their scores.

The warmth and sunshine beckons us from the darkness and solitude of winter to the out of doors. Oftentimes I find that peoples’ spirits seem lighter and their energy seems to be more positive once the temperatures increase and the sun is shining. Summer presents numerous invitations to refreshment and rejuvenation. Going to the beach, walking in the park and feeding the ducks, taking in community festivals…all offer a banquet of food for the soul.

“So what’s this got to do with work?” you might ask. “Everything”, is my reply. Keeping the soul in our work requires us to take advantage of the refreshment that each season of the year brings to us. Refreshment is essential in our fast paced life. I am reminded of proponents like David Elkind who long ago predicted that even children may experience burnout before puberty because of the added pressures and activities that so clutter their young lives. The child’s developmental task of free play has often been replaced by organized sports, music lessons and the like. So, too, as adults, we need time to decompress…to “play” in order for our minds and bodies to establish and maintain equilibrium that is necessary for our mental health. This means that we need to take the time to nourish ourselves so that we don’t burn out.

I am remembering a plaque that I saw a long time ago. The picture displayed a mother and father hen talking to their brood of young chicks with the caption reading, “Ain’t momma and poppa happy, ain’t nobody happy!” As members of teams, as management, as workers in the classroom or on the floor, our disposition does affect the people around us, especially those we serve, our clients. We all know too well the devastating impact of just a couple of grumpy, critical people who can demoralize a whole team or send negative shock waves throughout an agency. Our ability to re-connect with ourselves and take the time to rejuvenate is foundational to our longevity and stability in our field of practice. Hey, if we are happy, likely those around us are happier too!

In my case, the past few months have been filled with challenges that have left my energy tank “on empty”. I was in much need of refreshment. I decided to spend some time outside in the hope that I might experience once again what I have known to be true about nature’s healing qualities. Sitting beneath a canopy, sheltered from the ultra violet rays I absorbed the sounds, sights and smells of summer. Before me was a vast array of nature’s glory in the form of forest and perennial plants well into their summer bloom. Cardinals, finches and hummingbirds were enjoying their feast of birdseed as well as nectar from bright crimson and fuchsia flowers. I spotted baltimore orioles attracted to the prepared orange fruit slices for their enjoyment. Every so often a waft of a skunk scent would reach my nose. Butterflies were flitting around bushes named after them as well as taking delight in the array of colours and fragrances.

Interestingly and predictably, I found myself breathing more evenly and deeply. My shoulders relaxed and enjoyed the burden free moments. The cares of work seemed to fade from my mind. This experience of re-creation is right at my finger tips, yet often forgone because “I have work to do” or I am taxi-ing my children somewhere. Or the daily routines of life like weeds, seem to choke out these simple pleasures.

And as it often happens, nature offered some perspective to my usual musings.
I was somewhat surprised that quietly observing nature would have such a profound impact on me. Time is an interesting concept because each of us has the same amount available to us, yet most of us complain that we never have enough. I found that by being outside, time seemed insignificant and had the illusion of multiplying itself. Minutes seemed fuller and time appeared to move more slowly giving me the space I needed to ‘just be.’

The other day I met my friend for a walk in the park. What struck me was how I felt so refreshed after our time together. The flowing river, huge trees offering shelter from the humidity, bicycle paths providing space for wheeled enthusiasts, families of geese wading…all I could think about was when I would make the time for myself to do it again.

I was noticing that the trees in their entire splendor just ‘do their thing’. They bend and blow with the gusts of wind. They join in a chorus of rustling yet each has its own sound. They remain still, standing proud when the winds die down. A pine tree does not compete with the abundance of the maple or oak. Each knows its purpose and grows to fullness in the right environment.

Even the plants just ‘bloom where they are planted’. A yellow primrose does not try to become the blue cornflower. They grow alongside other births of bloom with each shade complimenting that of the other. Some flowers and plants require more space than others, but really, they are very focused on their mission of growth and blooming at their appointed time.

Nature reminds us of her inherent cycles: a time for planting, gestation, tilling, harvesting and eventually dying. Likewise, we have cycles and seasons in our lives and careers. Setting aside time allows us to observe these cycles. In doing so, we can take stock of our lives-professionally and personally, becoming more grounded in our purpose. Rest and relaxation allows us to re-create ourselves and bring replenished energy to our being. Consider nature’s invitation to a time of refreshment and renewal. Say, “Yes!” Create space for yourself, sink into the moment, breathe deeply, and enjoy!

Patricia Berendsen, M.T.S., RMFT maintains an active private practice in Individual, Couple and Family Therapy and Clinical Supervision in London, Ontario. Patricia also provides clinical services as a Clinician with the Clinical Supports Program at the Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System of the London Family Court Clinic. She can be contacted at patricia@patriciaberendsen.com